Do You Know the Difference. Between an.elephant and a Loaf of Bread

	What is the divergence between a lemon and a white elephant ? The Lemon is yellowish.
With what words would you lot scold an elephant? Tusk, tusk!	What'south big and grey and mutters? A mumbo Jumbo.
A man went into a restaurant and sat downwards. He was looking effectually when he noticed a sign on the wall. It read If you ask for something and we can't serve information technology to you lot , nosotros volition pay you £100. the man thought a while about this and when the waiter came for his club he said, "I'd similar Elephants ears on toast please."Dark-brown or white toast sir?" The waiter asked. The man smiled, sure that in that location was no way  they could serve him elephants ears on toast, "White toast please." The man sat and waited.Eventually the waiter came dorsum and handed him £100.  The man smiled, "I knew you'd have to pay me the £100 "he said."Yeah sir", replied the waiter. "I'grand agape nosotros've run out of staff of life!"	What's the divergence betwixt a beige and an elephant? Answer: Y'all can't dip an elephant in yous tea!
What do you get if an elephant sits on your friend? A flat mate!	What do you become if y'all cantankerous a kangaroo with an elephant? Bully big holes all over Australia.
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Why do elephants live in the jungle? They're as well big to alive in the firm.	What's large crimson and hides in a bush? An embarrassed elephant.
How practise you lot get rid of a white elephant? Put it in a colossal sale.	Why do elephants prevarication down? They tin can't lie up.
Why exercise elephants have big ears? Considering Noddy wouldn't pay the ransom.	What'southward gray, has wings, a magic wand and a trunk? The tusk fairy.
What do y'all become if you cross a goldfish with an elephant? Swimming trunks.	Jack: Have a peanut. Jill:No thanks they're fattening. Jack:Fattening? Jill:Yes.  Have y'all ever seen a skinny elephant?
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Why couldn't the elephants get swimming? They only had ane pair of trunks between them!
What's worse than an elephant on water skis? A porcupine on the prophylactic life raft.	Why did the large game hunter surrender hunting elephants? He got tired of carrying the decoys.
How exercise you stop an elephant going through the center of a needle? Necktie a knot in his tail.	What do yous get if yous cross an elephant with a canary? A messy muzzle!
Where is the elephants favourite place to holiday? Tuscany.	What was the elephant doing on the superhighway? Most five miles an hour!
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What do yous give an exhausted elephant? Trunkquillizers.	What'south the deviation betwixt a flea and an elephant? An elephant can have fleas but a flea can't have elephants!
How practice you know if there's an elephant in your bed? Past the "E" on his pyjamas.	How does an elephant get down from a tree? He sits on a leaf and expect till autumn.
	What did the grape say when the elephant stepped on him? Nothing he just let out a little wine.
What do you call a dead elephant? Annihilation you like he tin't hear you lot!	Why is an elephant big, greyness and wrinkled? Considering if it were small, fluffy and yellow it would exist a canary.
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What time is information technology when an elephant sits on your debate? Fourth dimension to get a new one.	Why did the elephant necktie a knot in his trunk? Southwardo he wouldn't forget.
What should you do if an elephant charges? Pay and run!	What'southward big, gray, heavy and has sixteen wheels? An elephant on roller skates!
	Where are elephants found? They're so large they're hardly ever lost!
Why do elephants live in zoos? Because its cheaper than renting a firm.	What practise elephants play when they are in the car? Squash.
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W hat's the biggest pismire in the globe? Eleph-ant.	What practice you call an elephant in a phone box? Stuck.
Why did the elephant paint himself in rainbow colours. He wanted to hide in the crayon box.	What practice you  phone call an elephant that flies? A jumbo jet.
When practice elephants have viii feet? When at that place are two of them.	Which takes less time to get ready for a trip, a rooster or an elephant? A Rooster, he only takes his comb.
What's the divergence between an Indian elephant and an African elephant? About iii,000 miles.	What do yous call an elephant who is just three feet loftier? Trunkated!
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How practise elephants dive into the pond pool? Head first.
What did the hotel manager say to the elephant who couldn't pay his bill? Pack your body and movement out.	What do you give an elephant with large feet. Large flippers.
Which side of an elephant has the most skin? The outside.	What's big and grey and loves back-scratch? An Indian elephant.
	What practice yous become if you cantankerous an elephant and a mouse? Huge holes in the skirting lath.
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Why don't elephants eat penguins? Because they can't get the wrappers off!	How do y'all know when an elephant is nearly to charge? He takes out his credit cards.
How many giraffes tin y'all fit into a car? Four, two in the front and two in the back.	Why did the elephant vesture cerise shoes? His bluish ones were at the menders!
How many elephants tin you fit in a motorcar? None, its already full of giraffes!	What'due south a jumbo jet? A flight elephant.
Why do elephants have such large trunks? They take to travel all the way from Africa.	Tin an elephant jump higher than a lamp-post? Yes.  A lamp-post can't jump.
	How practise you lot get an elephant into a matchbox? Accept the matches out first.
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What did the river say when the elephant sat in it? Well I'll be damned!	Why did the elephant quit working for the circus? He was tired of working for peanuts.
Why can't an elephant ride a bicycle? Because he doesn't have a thumb to reach the bell.	Why exercise elephants paint the soles of their feet yellowish? And then they tin can hide upside down in the custard.
How can yous tell there is an elephant in the fridge? You can't shut the door.	How do you know if an elephant has been in your bed? It's full of shelled peanuts.
How can y'all tell an elephant has been in your fridge? Footprints in the butter!	Why didn't the elephant cantankerous the road. He didn't want to be mistaken for a chicken.
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	Why did the elephant paint his head yellow? To meet if blonds had more fun.
Why did the elephant cross the road? Information technology was the chickens day off!	What exercise you become if you lot cantankerous a loaf of bread with an elephant? A sandwich that will never forget?
What's big, wrinkled and green? An unripe elephant!	What'due south big, grey, very very heavy and wears glass slippers? Cinderellaphant.
How can you tell in that location'south an elephant under the bed? Your nose touches the ceiling!	Why are elephants grayness? So they can't exist mistaken for strawberries.
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Why practise elephants take trunks? Because they'd expect silly with handbags!	What has two tails, two trunks and five legs? An elephant with spare parts.
How do you become an elephant into the car? Open the door.	Why shouldn't you lot dance with an elephant? Because you lot'd cease upwards with apartment anxiety.
How do you know an elephants come for tea? His tricycle is parked outside.	What'southward grey and white and cerise all over? An embarrassed elephant.
Elephant trainer:  My elephant just swallowed a camera! Vet:Don't worry sir, naught will develop.

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Source: http://www.fionasplace.net/Elephantjokes.html

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